Thursday, August 16, 2012

A "Non number" success: looking at the positives

So I have been trying to look at those successes that have nothing to do with the scale. Weight for me is difficult to lose, more so than the "average" person. Because of that I really spend a lot of my time fixated on what ISN'T happening with my weight loss and fitness journey. We all do it. We all look at that one pound gain and beat ourselves up. We fee like we failed, and like it is hopeless and pointless doing all this work for NO reward. For me it is a dangerous place to be in. I tend to go to extremes to get a quick result, I feel like I failed, and feel like others judge me because they see no success and therefore think that I must be lying about what I'm doing, or that I'm doing it wrong. It often seems that way with things people say. People try to tell me how to do it, tell me I need to do what it working for them etc. I know everyone means well but it just starts to get really aggravating because I AM doing it right. I am following my doctors' orders, checking my nutrition, getting my exercise and fixing the way I view myself. In all honesty, I might never "love" myself the way that I *should*, I might never see myself the way that my wonderful husband, amazing family and close friends see me....and you know what? I am ok with that. I am a work in progress. I will always be a work in progress. The important thing is that I'm WORKING on me.

That being said, I have found a few "non scale" successes to focus on. No, the scale hasn't moved much in the last couple months. I lost 3.5 pounds, then gained 2 pounds, lost 1, gained 3, lost 2....lost I have felt like giving up. I have felt like it is hopeless. I felt like everything I was putting in was pointless. The last 2 weeks have been the hardest. I have been SO devoted to being healthy and exercising. I watched my calories, got an hour (at least) of good sweating, heart pounding cardio every day, squats, crunches/leg lifts etc....every day. But that darn scale hardly moved in the direction I NEED it to. I could have stopped eating, I could have done some other dangerous and unhealthy things to get the scale to move....but I didn't. And that is ONE of the non scale successes. I have lost about 4-6 inches in the last 2 weeks, and THAT is a success. No, I haven't really gone down a FULL size just yet, but my clothes are fitting better and I am more "comfortable" in my clothes now. So that is another success. The BIGGEST success for me at this point is that I have STUCK to it. THAT is a bigger success than anything else because even when it is hard, even when we don't *see* results we have to keep going. EVENTUALLY the success that you desire and work for will be obvious.

"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch."

1 comment:

  1. Your perseverance is a beautiful thing. Way to go, girl! <3