Thursday, April 5, 2012

The hits just keep coming.....

I tore my calf muscle the week after joining our local rec center so I could exercising.  I was on crutches for a couple days and it was NOT an easy feat with all the stairs in my house. I ended up not using them at home, but kept my calf wrapped and have managed to improve to a point of being able to walk (rather well) now... I'm slow but I walk. :)

Tuesday I got a diagnosis that we suspected for years, but doctors had gone back and forth on. One doctor would say I had it, then another would say there was no indication that I had it. SIGH So after seeing my Gynecologist Tuesday for a follow up on some tests they did to try to find the source of all my pain I have been told that I have PCOS. Which means the pain I have been having, along with the weight gain, difficulty losing weight and several other symptoms, are all due to the PCOS. The doctor has put me on a couple of different treatments including hormone therapy (which is essentially birth control that regulates the hormone levels in my body) as well as a diabetes medication to help my body process insulin. Insulin issues are VERY common in women with PCOS and though I don't currently have diabetes, my risks of getting it are pretty high. It runs in my family, I'm overweight, and I have PCOS and already deal with blood sugar and insulin issues. FUN.

While happy to have a diagnosis, and relieved that I don't have cancer in my ovaries, I'm left wondering if I'm just never going to be able to get all these issues under control. The hormone therapy they put me on, being birth control, commonly causes weight gain. SIGH. So here we go again, another set of odd stacked against me. It isn't that I feel sorry for myself, it just starts to feel like maybe I should just get used to being fat, tired and in pain every single day of my life. But at the same time, I feel like that is such a defeatist attitude and I'm certainly NOT a defeatist.

It is hard to wake up every day in terrible pain, the pain meds that the doctors give you helps with the pain, but then you can't really function at full capacity...I can't drive on the narcotic pain meds for example. I guess I just choose every day to suffer through as much as I can manage. I don't like being "drugged" and I don't like missing out on life because of pain or weight. So I smile and just keep going.

I'm doing some research on how to diet when you have PCOS...the weight loss is truly necessary (as I stated in a previous post) because of my back issues.  I'm planning on getting back into the pool (hopefully today or tomorrow) and get my body moving. I just have to go slowly as far as walking or cycling goes due to the calf tear. I still have big goals for weight loss and I'm trying to remain optimistic about achieving those goals, I'm just finding it difficult to not feel so defeated right now.

The trick is keeping at it. Right? I might fail, but I'm not going to fail because I didn't try. Not working for it is the only guaranteed way to fail. The hits keep coming but I'm still standing.

1 comment:

  1. It is possible. You have been successful at losing before, so you know it is POSSIBLE. Don't let the circumstances get you down. Watching you deal with these challenges with a positive attitude is encouragement to the rest of us.