Just keep going....

The last couple weeks have been really challenging for me. They put me on medications and I had TERRIBLE side effects. I was moody (read depressed and irritable), gained 6 pounds within the first week of being on the medications (even though I was still watching very closely what I was eating and making sure to eat the RIGHT foods not just the right calories), getting 30 minutes of exercise every day etc. I also had several other ones that honestly are just way beyond TMI...so I'm sparing you the details. Needless to say after 2 weeks of this I took myself off of the one medication that was causing the issue. Now my body is trying to catch back up and lose what I gained.

I'm not giving up, but I think my goals have changed a bit. While I want to complete a half marathon or even just a 5k this year, I'm not sure that I will be able to realize that goal this year. It might have to be what I start off my new year with.....but I guess we will have to see how the rest of the spring and the summer go. My back has been giving me issues as well as some of my other medical issues, so I  have had to focus a bit more on those things than on others. My first priority MUST be my health and being safe about anything that I do in order to get healthy. I just can't push my body too hard some days. The weather has certainly made remaining mobile a bit difficult. As it rains and the temperature goes back and forth between chilly and warm, my joints get stiff and ache pretty badly....so some days I just rejoice in the fact that I can at least somewhat move. The arthritis will do that to me for the rest of my life so I might as well get used to it. Right? :)

The important part of all of this......of this whole journey....is to just KEEP going. I have to keep my goals in mind, try to stay positive and to not give up, no matter what my body throws at me, no matter what medications do to my body or how they set me back, no matter what anyone else says about me, about my methods (although it is important to note that I am under the direction of 3 different doctors), my progress or my attitude.

It is difficult, for all of us, to feel beautiful when the world tells us we aren't. For a "plus sized" woman it is difficult to feel pretty and often we feel like others are judging us because of the way that "fat" people are portrayed in the media, talked about in magazines or on TV, the way that clothing designers don't make clothing to fit us properly and because of the way that others look at us. Just because we are "working" on losing weight (or even for those who aren't) doesn't mean we can't feel beautiful in clothing that fits us. Why wait until I'm at a healthier weight just to feel good about myself? Isn't it time we encourage each other to feel our best regardless of size?!?

I guess my only option is to just keep going......just keep going.... two steps forward and one step back, it is still a forward motion....no matter how long it takes to get there.